Hi beauties!! So I am about 40 days away from my wedding and after plenty of attempts, my fiancé is finally stepping it up and getting involved in the wedding planning process. He’s 6 months late but I’m glad I finally got him on board with the whole process. It definitely was a challenge, and I had to hear numerous complaints about how he is just so busy. Because I’m stubborn, I wasn’t buying it. Every argument he had sounded like an excuse and to be completely honest, I know he is extremely busy and not interested in picking the floral colors for our wedding or deciding on whether we should go with white or ivory napkin cloths for the tables. I did however, want to have his input in certain things even though I do have a wedding planner, I wanted our wedding to fit both of our tastes and to get his input when I was feeling stuck making decisions related to the wedding.
Keeping his busy schedule in mind and lack of interest in certain elements of the wedding, I used these tactics to get him not only on board but also EXCITED for the wedding.
Pick The Right Timing
Do not discuss wedding planning when he is at work, about to head out to a meeting or having a bad day because you might not be too happy with his reaction. Consider discussing it on his day off when he is in a great mood and ready to listen. He is a lot more eager to listen to what you have to say when he has a clear mind. Also, consider limiting the wedding planning discussion to once a week at a certain time frame. Do not let it be the one and only discussion you have with your fiancé at all times. It will drive him CRAZY if you do.
Play To His interests
Keeping it real, most men do not care about 3/4 of the details that matter to us woman in a wedding. So, do not lose his interest by discussing your dress, the souvenirs, or even the amount of candles you want to have on each table. Instead, ask him to be involved in things that you know interest him. In my situation, Food Tasting and an A+ Service is what matters the most to my fiancé, so I made sure to discuss these aspects with him FIRST to get him excited THEN I started to slowly throw in other elements that he may not be interested in such as: Decor rentals. However, instead of asking him to come with me to the rental company to pick out the chairs (I knew he would NEVER do that), instead, I approached it in a more diplomatic way, “Babe, what do you think of these chairs for our guests? do you like them better than the ghost chairs?” TRUST ME, it’s all about how you word things to him. Grab his attention first by playing to his interest then lure him in unexpectedly.
Make Him Feel Like His Opinion Matters
Do not brush off his ideas cause that will only repel him from wanting to be involved. Instead, make him feel like you value what he has to say and encourage him to keep throwing out different ideas.
Let Him Know When Wedding Planning Is Stressing You Out
If there is one thing I am good at, it is voicing my opinion. I am not afraid to let him know when I am overwhelmed because honestly at times, men just can’t read nonverbal communication. I have to literally express my feelings out loud for him to realize that I am getting stressed and need some help. I really think he decided to get involved at the end just to avoid hearing me nag but oh well, at least it worked! YAY
Tap Into His Competitive Side
Men looooooveee competitions so take that to your advantage and challenge him to see if he can beat you to finishing some tasks. For example, my fiancé was taking FOREVER to complete his guest list so I challenged him to have it completed before mine.
Any ladies struggling to get their partners involved in wedding planning? What tactics did you use that worked? Let me know in the comments below 🙂
xo,
Guinwa Z.
